You may have heard of the 80/20 rule, or the Pareto principle. It generally says that 20% of the effort towards any given project will result in 80% of the results.*
When it comes to buying things, I like to use my own 80/20 rule: 20% of the stuff you own is used 80% of the time. Buy and purge accordingly. There is obviously has a bit of a minimalist ethos to this. If you're rarely using it, it's probably just taking up space and should be removed. But it's also great when considering new purchases - especially those involving housing and vehicles. For example, we live in a 600 square foot apartment. There isn't a whole lot of room to spare here, and we'd like to upgrade at some point. However, I've noticed there's a lot of pressure to upgrade right now and the 80/20 rule helps keep things in perspective. 80% of the time, I'm totally satisfied with the amount of space I have. And for now, that's good enough. Also, for the 20% of the time when the space feels too small, such as for entertaining, the cost of outsourcing that endeavour (e.g. taking friends out for dinner) is very small compared to paying a mortgage on a bigger place. Another great example is cars and recreational vehicles. Where we live, even the summer nights have a cold edge that can make camping comfortably challenging. Because of this, I think RV'ing would be a great way to explore (not to mention having a kitchen while camping! I hate doing dishes in a plastic bucket). But here's the thing - I would probably only use an RV 2-3 weeks a year at most. 80% (or more like 95%) of the time, I'm perfectly happy without an RV. So paying $40,000 for a used camper, plus storage fees, plus depreciation on the asset, doesn't really add up. A much better tactic would be to shell out the three grand to rent one every couple years. The point is, before you buy something (or store something long-term in your house), determine whether this will benefit you 80% of the time, or 20% of the time. If it's 20% or less, it's probably cheaper and easier to rent, borrow, or outsource the solution. That doesn't always mean that will be the solution you want long term (I want a garage to store a winter bike!), but it can put things in to perspective. * This is particularly interesting when applied to learning a language. Adherents take the approach that learning 20% of the words of a language (the most often used ones) will make you 80% fluent. For more on this, see Tim Ferris on Language.
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One of the best ways to make new friends is through a mutual friend. You're both friends with the same person, so you're pretty likely to have stuff in common, right?
However, I've also noticed that these mutual friend connections also have the potential to create what I call "human leeches." Human leeches are the type of people that are not necessarily malevolent, but annoying enough that they have a hard time making and keeping friends. This makes them lonely, so they tend to latch on to any human in the vicinity. Drunkenly chat with a friend of a friend at a party and before you know it, they're calling you their bestie...even though you've never even texted each other. This tends to be exacerbated when you meet through a mutual friend. If this was just a coworker, you could probably brush them off eventually. But when you're friends with the same person, you often end up at the same events, thus deepening their perception of the friend bond. Unless you never want to see your mutual friend again, you're going to forevermore see this person at every party, bbq, wedding, and so on...for all time. So how to remove these lecherous hangers-on? You have a few options: 1. The Straight-Up Bitch: Next time this person tries to insinuate that you're friends, give them the hard truth: "I hate to break it to you, but you and me aren't friends, and we aren't ever going to be. See you at next week's bbq!" As tempting as this is, I wouldn't recommend it if you want to keep the mutual friend. Most people find this approach creates a slight awkwardness in future get togethers. 2.The Mother Theresa: Feel bad for this person due to their friendlessness and go along with it. Secretly hate every minute you spend with them while smiling as they ask you to be their bridesmaid. 3. The Subtle: My favourite method. Be civil when you're at the same event, but turn down any offers they make to hang out. If you absolutely have to (i.e. they've invited you to three events already and you feel rude turning down a forth), make sure to keep it to a minimum. Make a one hour appearance and hit the road. Keep that leech on a leash, if you will. Picture: Swedish Road Administration/Karl Jilg Imagine I told you about a great new invention - flying cars! It'll be just like the Jetsons - we'll all fly to work!
We'd probably agree that was a neat idea, but there's no way they'd ever let you use a flying car in the city. The work to license and monitor these machines would be too much for government to handle, and imagine the risk of letting anyone just fly through the air - it would be far too dangerous. Such a toy would be only for the rich to play with on their private land, not for city commuting. That would be ridiculous! Yet this is what we have done by allowing cars in our cities. We give up insane swaths of public space, even when housing is at a premium, pollute our air and ruin any chance of quiet for apartment dwellers - all so we can have the convenience of taking a two ton bucket of steel with us everywhere we go. Don't get me wrong - I'm not entirely anti-car. Cars are a great way to move between cities, to visit remote locations, and often to transport goods. I own a car, and I use it for all of these things. But, I always find the conversation that goes on around alternative means of commuting odd. Car-enthusiasts are outraged that any bit of space on the road might be given up to public transit or God-forbid, cyclists. The irony seems to escape them that while they refuse to give up space, they are insisting on being able to transport and park a vehicle at the public's expense. An expense that includes: building and maintaining roads, snow removal, parking spaces, traffic enforcement, and the list goes on. You can't give up space for a bike lane, but you expect to have enough parking for everyone to park downtown at the same time? Are you insane?! I also can't wrap my head around when these types of people also complain about being out of shape. Of course you're overweight! You've engineered all exercise out of your life! How about instead of relying on the willpower to drive to the gym (words that make me shudder) you bike to work instead? Exercise, commute, and stress relief, all in one! This weekend I took a course at a local college. I'm lucky to have a job that pays for courses as a benefit, so I thought it was time I took advantage.
The course was Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday morning. Friday evening I took off around 5:15 pm on my bicycle, lights charged up for the way home. This being the North, the sun was still going strong and it was a beautiful 22 degrees - perfect conditions for an evening ride. I rode through a quiet neighbourhood, checking out the local real estate as I passed through. Twelve minutes later, I glided silently up to the college, where I parked my bike on the rack conveniently placed right outside the front door. In the preamble to the course, our instructor showed us all of the places we could park on a college map and for how much (starting at only eight dollars a day - what a steal). I was silently grateful for living so close that I didn't need to drive in. The next morning, I ate a breakfast burrito (food prep!) and coffee at home. It was another beautiful, sunny day, and I arrived at 7:45 am, feeling energized after my ride. I noticed that most of the other students arrived with a to-go coffee in hand. At lunch time, our instructor gave us instructions to the cafeteria where we could purchase lunch. Having brought my lunch from home (leftover wholewheat pasta from Friday night's dinner), I went to the cafeteria, found a microwave and heated up my food, and filled up my water bottle at the water fountain. Beverage and warm meal in hand, I sat down in a sunny spot and had my tasty lunch. As I looked up from reading a library book on my phone (Libby is seriously the best app), I couldn't help but notice that nearly everyone around me had bought lunch from either the Chinese Food place or the Pita Pit, and were drinking either a pop or a coffee from Tim's. I thought about how much this weekend would have cost if I had driven, paid for parking, and purchased my food. Gas - $5 x 3 days = $15 Parking - $8 x 3 days = $24 Lunch + coffee = $20 Total = $59 In contrast, I spent $0 (maybe $2.50 if you want to include the cost of the groceries to make pasta?). And yet, I don't feel like I was missing out on anything. In fact, I would much rather take biking in the sunshine and eating homemade food over fighting traffic and eating shitty cafeteria food any day. Plus, the exercise and healthy food made me more alert and ready to learn. The funny thing is, the spendy version of this weekend is what most people consider normal. And that's what I think people get wrong about living frugally. I'm not missing out on anything. If I want something (hello delicious bakery treats), I'll get it. But I refuse to waste my money on stuff that doesn't make my life better, or even makes it worse. During our nightly walk yesterday, we decided to take the trail near our house. Although we're centrally located, it's a gravel path through the woods and it gets quite a bit of use.
So we head off, and as we round the first corner we see...a naked man (ass towards us, in case you're wondering). I actually didn't register at first that he was naked, I thought he was just some dude taking a piss (is it bad that I'm not surprised by that? This city is so weird...) In reality, he was fully nude, head to toe. He wasn't even wearing shoes! This just seems extra-aggressive, like, my nudity is so powerful I don't need a getaway plan! The best part was that he had his jeans around his neck (a leg on each side). Like, no shoes needed IN THE FUCKING WOODS, but mothafucka better have those jeans ready just in case. He looks at us, we look at him, and fucking dude just nonchalantly starts walking the other direction, like he doesn't have a care in the world. We look at each other like...uh...so...and turn back. We did call the cops, 'cause we're good citizens like that. Anyway, the point of this post is obviously: who needs to pay for entertainment? Head out to the woods and you'll get the full package! Blue Collar traditionally refers to manual labourers. But the words blue collar tend to mean much more than that. Salt-of-the-earth, hard working, knows the value of a hard-earned dollar.
Because of this, I had long been under the impression that blue collar pastimes consisted of cheap entertainment. Much was my surprise the first time I went to our local fair, the epitome of blue collar recreation, only to find it cost $12 just to get the privilege of buying tickets to ride the rides. I thought this was going to be just like the Notebook. Didn't Noah only make 10 cents an hour?! And yet I see what are obviously low income families, paying for three kids and two parents. That works out to: Entry: $12 x 5 = 60 Tickets: $20 x 5 = 100 Lunch: $15 x 5 = 75 Total = $235 TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FIVE DOLLARS! To go to a shitty fair where people get stabbed every year (k, that last part might just be my city...don't ask). Do you know all the awesome stuff you could do with $235? Stuff that doesn't include waiting in line in the hot sun to ride a hopefully safe ride that will probably make me nauseous for the rest of the afternoon? Can we bring back knowing the value of a hard-earned dollar? 'Cause I think we can all do better than paying 10 bucks for a hot dog that's been sitting in the sun all afternoon. During my high school and college years, I got really into urban design. I guess that sounds like a really weird hobby for a teenager, but I just couldn't get enough Jane Jacobs. Let's backpedal a bit though (bicycle pun intended), as this interest didn't develop in a vacuum.
I grew up in the suburbs and went to a French Immersion school, which meant I had to get to school by bus. If I wanted to see my friends outside of school hours, my parents would have to drive me to their house and pick me up afterwards. I couldn't just stay after school to play on the playground, as I would miss my bus home. All of this meant that I didn't get to socialize much outside of school, and that my life was extremely car dependent. This forever changed the way I think about community, cities, and commuting. Urban design fascinates me because as an adult I am determined to avoid the loneliness and loss of time and money that comes with car dependence. I have designed my life so that I can bike or take the train to work, and I live within biking/walking distance of most of my friends, as well as basic amenities, such as a grocery store and pharmacy. Most people will say this isn't possible in many cities in North America. I have lived in three Canadian cities, and it has been possible in all three - of course, with some sacrifices. Yes, we live in a small place. Yes, sometimes we hear traffic and see other humans, some of whom are pretty weird, and yes, we have a long way to go to make our cities more human-friendly. But here's what we have gained: Time: With a commute that is, in worst conditions, 15 minutes, we have lots of time together. Compare this to a 45 minute drive to work (which usually stretches to over an hour with traffic, construction and weather - the Canadian trifecta). Money: By being able to bike to work, we save thousands on gas, transit, and car maintenance. Safety: We bike mainly on protected bike lanes, and take the train when the weather is bad. The less you drive, the less likely you are to get in to a car accident. Fitness: Biking helps keep you fit, and bicycle commuters have far lower rates of mortality than car commuters. We also live a 10 minute walk from one of our city's world-class gyms, and use some of that extra time saved to attend fitness classes and workout. Stress: There's a reason car commercials show a professional driver on an open road. Because no one, even car lovers, enjoys bumper-to-bumper traffic. Community: We can easily bike to downtown festivals and walk to see friends and family. We drive an '07 Pontiac, and we love that car. You know why? Well, beyond the fact that we don't owe any money on it, it's a hatchback (perfect for camping!) and it gets us from point A to point B with minimal maintenance; one of the great joys of owning an older car is that you don't have to baby it.
It's already lost its sheen and new car smell, so who cares if it gets a new scratch or bump? Accidentally spilled coffee on the seat? Try to get it out as best you can, but you're not going to lose sleep over it. When I see my peers buying new cars, beyond wondering why the hell anyone would buy a car right off the lot (hello, depreciating asset), the thought of worrying over keeping that car in mint condition just sounds awful. You're driving on asphalt, in four seasons, surrounded by other drivers. What's the chance your vehicle will get scratched? Umm..about 100%? You're giving yourself a reason to worry about something outside of your control. And that's how it works with most new things. At first, you're excited to get that new thing. New bike, new kitchen, new hardwood floors? So shiny and new! Until you realize you now have to keep them perfectly clean and make sure no guest ever dares spills a drink lest your expensive purchase be ruined. Who wants to live like that? I'm not saying to live like a pig and never care about your surroundings. But before you purchase something new, consider not just the cost, but the mental burden of its upkeep. Is it really worth it? Any time you hear relationship advice, people always mention the importance of date night. "Date night keeps the spark in your relationship," "date night is a chance to reconnect as a couple."
You should certainly spend time one-on-one with your partner and go places together other than, you know, your house. But what confounds me about this advice is the emphasis on spending. According these relationship "experts" sustaining a marriage requires nothing less than $150 dinners out every week along with romantic getaways to luxury resorts twice a year. I'm not sure if they're aware, but humans have been capable of maintaining relationships since long before things like restaurants and couples massages existed. Not only are these things unnecessary, I often find that they build up the experience so much that the real thing is disappointing. Today was a beautiful Saturday, so we biked down to our city's central park together. It's only about a 15 minute ride from our place and about 90% of it is on protected bike lanes, so it's a really nice ride. Once we were there, we sat under a tree on the grounds of a beautiful government building from the early 1900's and did some fantastic people watching. We even brought brie and crackers. Can you imagine a better afternoon? Well, sometimes we bring wine with frozen fruit in a water bottle, so I guess a delicious chardonnay buzz could have made it an 11 out of 10. The point is, all of this cost zero dollars (unless you want to include the cost of the cheese, which was a delightful Kirkland double creme. So, like, four bucks?). On top of that, we got some exercise and fresh air out of the deal. Fancy dinners can have their place if that's your thing, but why not try focusing on the whole reason you're on the date in the first place - to spend time together. As I've mentioned in previous posts, we're big on walking around here. We walk for at least 45 minutes every day, in just about any weather (and our city gets some pretty extreme weather). But, to my surprise, most of the time we're the only ones out enjoying an evening stroll, other than in the first few days of spring when everyone remembers how much they love the outdoors. As much as I enjoy an empty sidewalk, (gtfo my way, slow walkers), I struggle to understand why I see people paying for pricey gym memberships and workout equipment they don't use, while ignoring the free exercise you were literally made to do. But the main reason I am a proponent of walking is not for the physical benefits, but the mental ones. Feeling confused or down? Not sure about a decision? There's a reason people take a walk to clear their head. There's certain connections your brain can make while walking that it just can't make any other way. Beyond walking on your own, I'm of the belief that if every couple walked together daily, even for just 15 minutes, we'd have a much lower rate of divorce. Walking together not only means you exercise together, but you interact on a deeper level. There's no staring at your phone while your walking, unless you want to walk into a telephone pole. You'll find yourselves talking about each other's day, the sights and sounds of the neighbourhood, and your latest interests. Compare that to the connection you make when catching up on Netflix. All you need is a pair of running shoes (or no shoes? I don't know how you roll). |
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