We go for a walk every night after dinner. Because we start work at 7 am (and also because we are just super hungry people), we eat after I get home around 4, then usually go for a walk after cleaning up and packing lunches around 4:45. For some of you, this schedule alone may make your jaw drop, but our commutes are about 15 minutes maximum, depending on if we ride the train or bike. Due to our meal-prepping ways, we can usually eat right away, or as soon as a pot of rice is made. This leaves time for a lovely 45 minute walk around the neighbourhood, which we take in almost any weather. Seriously, I think the only times we skip our walk is when it's below -25 or an insane rainstorm. While waiting at an intersection this evening for the light to change, we heard someone aggressively honking and turned to see what was happening. Apparently, while we were enjoying our homemade butter chicken, someone had been having an awfully bad day. In reaction to an unknown driving infraction, this man stopped in the middle of traffic on a very tight four-lane bridge and got out of his car in order to stomp up to the driver of the car who had wronged him and shake his fist at him like the angry primate he is. I'm not going to pretend like I haven't had bouts of anger myself. But I also can't remember the last time I thought I'd try to see if I could cause a car accident in order to knock someone out. The incident got me thinking about lifestyle, and how much it affects your quality of life. Taking a nice leisurely bike ride home from work, followed by a warm meal and a walk with your spouse, vs. grinding through bumper-to-bumper traffic. Sure, I have to sacrifice on space and generally fanciness of my home - but I'll take that over coming home angry any day.
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That being said, this post is not about shaming you for how much you want to spend on your wedding. To be honest, I'll enjoy silently judging you, but it's not my money and not really my business; so go ahead and ride in on a gleaming unicorn and be wed by Kanye himself. Send pics, though.
However, if you want to have a wedding, I ask you to read and sign this contract: I, [insert name here], have decided to host a party for my friends and family in celebration of my marriage. As the host, I will happily pay the costs of whatever I plan for the party unless anyone is so generous as to offer to help. This includes all food, drinks, entertainment, and any outfits that I force others to wear, such as bridesmaids dresses or tuxes. I will not ask others to pay for my weddings through pleas, guilt trips, or stag and doe "parties." Signed, [your name] Seriously, though, can you imagine if you hosted any other type of party and told your best friends: "Hey, wouldn't you be so honoured if I made you decorate my place and pay to wear outfits I choose for this party? Isn't this awesome?!" Would you be shocked if they told you to go fuck yourself? Because this is what weddings have become, and I think it's time someone says it: No one owes you a fancy wedding. You do not automatically deserve a lavish party because you so choose to wed. In case you think I'm full of shit, here's a breakdown of what we spent on our wedding three years ago: - flights to hometown: $2000 (Canadian airfare at Christmas is ridiculous) - dress: $300 (handmade on Etsy) - suit: $200 (Calvin Klein outlet) - chapel: $200 - officiant: $150 - catering + booze: $1500 - flowers: $200 - hair and nails: $100 Total: $4650 - without flights this would have been $2650. And to be honest, if I could do it over again, I would have just gotten married at the courthouse and done a BBQ. Would have been almost the same cost, but more casual. Also, several of the expenses (flowers, hair, nails) were gifts that I wouldn't have paid for myself but could not refuse.
I like socializing, and I like my friends. But, I, too, have been subject to pressure from friends to overspend. It usually goes something like this:
Friend: "Hey, what are you up to Friday?" (note the actual activity is not mentioned. THIS IS A TRAP, PEOPLE!). Me: "Uh, not much, what's up?" "GREAT! I'm planning an intimate celebration for my birthday. I'm thinking we'll go to the Theme Park at noon, we can have lunch when we get there - super cute cantina - and then when we're done, dinner at Chez Expensive, then drinks at that new fancy lounge!" Me, mentally calculating how much all this will cost: "Right, I think we might actually have something going on, we might only be able to make it to the Theme Park..." "Ugh come onnnn, it's my birthday!" The strangest part is that the type of people that invite you to these expensive events also always seem to be the ones who are just getting by with part-time work and can't seem to shake that pesky credit card debt. I call these types of people, "People who like to spend my money for me." I bet you know a few of them, too. Here's my general take on this: 1. If it's someone you really care about maintaining the relationship with, such as family, and it's a rare event (fabulous destination wedding, anyone?), bite the bullet and do it with a grin. Ridiculous as the request may be, sometimes there are costs to maintaining a relationship. 2. If you care about the relationship, but it's for a less important or more frequent event (such as the birthday scenario outlined above), we try to choose the activity that seems the most fun and attend that one, and say no to the rest.* "Wow, Sharon, we're really looking forward to going to the Theme Park, woo! Unfortunately we promised my parents we'd see them for dinner though, so we'll have to take off at 6." 3. If you don't care about the relationship (think retirement party for a coworker you barely know), feel free to just say no. If they get upset, remember that this relationship isn't important to you, so suck it, bitches. All of a sudden, you will find your evenings and weekends full of blissful free time, and your pockets full of cash. You are welcome. *Side note - am I the only person that feels like doing a bunch of activities in one day is a waste? I like going out to dinner, and I like going to the theme park. But I feel like when I do both in a single day, each event stops being special and I don't fully appreciate them. This is my objection to these "three event extravaganzas" people love to plan - it's not just about the money (although if you expect your friends to shell out $100 bucks a piece for your birthday activity, seriously, fuck off) it's about the fact that I know I won't get the full enjoyment out of those dollars that I could have otherwise. Like, how rich do you think you are that going out to dinner can't be a special event in and of itself? Ever since we bought our condo about two and a half years ago, we've known we need a new fridge. Not in the sense of "it's white and I want stainless steel." More in the sense of:
So this weekend, we finally broke down and bought ourselves a brand-spankin' new fridge. Not bad for $400 bucks! And, in the spirit of enjoying our newly "updated" kitchen, I made pizza. I used this recipe for the dough: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/20171/quick-and-easy-pizza-crust/ although honestly I wouldn't say it was the best. A bit lacking in flavour and oddly crumbly when you try to form it. But, it's fucking bread with cheese on it, you know it was good. The dough 💲💲 Pre-Pizza PIZZA All in all a successful weekend.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It might be the fact that it's snowing in April (ok, it is the fact that it's snowing in April), but I've been feeling a bit down.
The thing is, I've been planning to retire early for awhile now. Which is, I guess, one thing I know I want. But I've been struggling with what I want to do once I'm retired. Do I want to live in a house? Travel? Board dogs? Become a raw vegan YouTuber? Housing, especially, has become the big question. We own our condo, and it suits our needs. But it's hard not to get caught-up in the home ownership hard-on everyone around you has. It's like trying to get laid in high school. Everyone's trying to do it, Ben even claims he and Stacey did it, but everyone knows that's gonna cost him for the next several years. You start to wonder, "Maybe my banal life would somehow be perked up by a home. I could get a dog, and grass, and grow tomatoes and stuff." Doesn't sound too shabby. But at the same time, if you're planning on retiring early, looking at the numbers can depress the fuck out of you. You pull stunts of mathematic gymnastics - what if we got a renter? what if interest rates go up? what if they go down? - until you drive yourself crazy. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that owning a home is a serious expense. Unless you live in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere, good luck to you buying anything that may-or-may-not have squatters in it for less than $350,000 - and that's in an "affordable" market. And when you're thinking about retiring on less than 700,000, god damn, that's nearly half your nest egg! For a piece of grass! So what's a frugal bitch to do? Well, here's what I've come up with (patent pending, no conditions apply, must be this tall to ride). I don't want to spend an extra 8 years of my life working so that I can afford a house. I have a condo that is cheap AF to live in (savings rate mo'fuckas) and allows me to easily walk/bike/ride the train to wherever I need to be. Yes, it's small. But I think the issue I've been dealing with is just boredom. Will it really be that different or exciting to live in a house? Maybe at first, but stayin' in is stayin' in, ya know? Also, as much as I love being Canadian, the winter's here suck ass, no way around it. So why not get the best of both worlds. Winter in a warm, cheap, third-world country, say, from January to May, then summer here, taking the odd road-trip here-and-there. By the time you get board of the condo life (pun very much intended), off you go to a tropical paradise, only to come home in time to enjoy summer in the city. No insane maintenance costs, no need to worry about the house falling apart while you're gone. Hell, we might even be able to rent it while we're away, and make money while we're at it. I know, your parents will never be proud of you for owning a basement condo. But when you're sipping on a homemade margarita in Mexico in February - will you really care? Imagine you have kid. Maybe you do already.
How would you organize their day-to-day life? You'd probably make it a priority that they get enough sleep, that they eat healthy food at regular intervals, together with you at a table. You would do your best to encourage creativity and learning opportunities, and limit the amount of time they spend mindlessly starting at screens. You would make them go outside and would tell them not to be friends with kids who are jerks. Why would you do these things? Because you care about their mental and physical health and their growth as a person. And also, because tired, hungry kids who don't get enough exercise tend to throw lots of tantrums and be generally annoying. +1 for them, +1 for you. Then why don't you do the same for yourself? I've come to notice that as soon as they become adults, people expect their body to run perfectly on nothing. "Ugh, I keep getting these awful headaches." Maybe it's the fact that you substitute breakfast with Pepsi? "I'm so tired all the time." Maybe because you only get 5 hours of sleep a night? I know that should anyone ever read this blog, I'm probably going to get a lot of shit for this along the lines of, "My life is too busy to take care of myself" "You don't understand how hard it is, stop judging me." In some cases, I'm sure that's the truth. I am so sorry if misfortune has shaped your life in such a way that it is impossible to take care of yourself. That is truly a tragedy. But for most people out there, I'm telling you to cut your shit. Let's make a deal, either stop designing your lives so that you can't take care of yourselves, or stop bitching that you feel like shit. Now, because I can tell you need a help, I'm going to help you out. Let's address these one-by-one: Problem 1: I'm tired all the time Solution: Obviously you need more sleep, but how do we achieve that. Let's attack common causes: a) You have a long commute to work Come on, are you still doing this shit. I thought humanity was finally starting to realize how goddamn stupid this is. Look, I get it if you can't change that right now. But don't tell me you can't make steps to change it. In very rare cases, one spouse may have to have a long commute so that the other can walk/bike/take transit to work. But that is very rare, and if you are currently driving to work and/or commuting more than 25 minutes, you need to figure out a way to move closer. "But I love my neighbourhood." I mean, we all love shit that we can't have. But seriously, when choosing where you live, the most important thing is what you need to do every day. You probably don't hang out with your neighbours every day. But you do commute to work every day. Wouldn't it make more sense to drive 30 minutes to see your neighbours/family on a weekend, than to drive 30 minutes to work every day? b) I have to drive my kids to all sorts of activities Ok, I'm going to start by saying: good for you for taking an active interest in your kids' hobbies and their growth. I think that's awesome. That being said, what are you doing? See comment above - find a neighbourhood where your kids can walk/be walked to activities. You're just teaching your kids that you're a chauffeur, and all that time sitting in a car isn't good for them. Also, it's possible you're overscheduling your kids. Like, one sport, one interest should be enough. c) I work long hours If that's the case, that sucks. Hopefully you will be able to get a better, less demanding job in the future. However, are you taking steps to organize your life? Have you shortened your commute (see above)? Do you meal prep? d) I did all that, but I still feel tired/have insomnia I mean, it's possible you need to see a doctor, which I am not. So maybe do that. Problem 2: I don't have time to exercise Solution: See solutions above. That should free up some time, and if you get close enough to work you could start biking or walking, which will solve this problem all by itself. Will I be embarrassed by that title in future? Probably.
So in keeping with the theme of this blog - saying I will try things and then doing things I already do, let's talk meal prep! We started meal prepping almost a year ago, when we were coming up to a particularly busy time. We figured - why not give this a shot. If we hate it, we just won't do it again. Suffice it to say, we didn't hate it. In fact, it was probably one of the best experiments we have ever tried. Like, if you don't meal prep, I don't understand how you make it through the day-to-day. If you do it right, meal prep has so many benefits: - you save money by buying food in bulk (not to mention not eating out) - you tend to eat better, as you always have a healthy meal on hand - you eliminate the day-to-day worry about what you're going to eat. When you get home, you have a homemade meal ready to eat, AND enough leftovers for tomorrow's lunch. Seriously people, as a hangry lady, this is revolutionary! That being said, we learned a few things along the way: 1. Stick to crock-pot meals. This allows you to just freeze raw ingredients. Our first time meal prepping, we pre-cooked all the meals (think ginormous pots of chicken tikka masala and broccoli soup). I'm not going to say they weren't delicious, but it took FOREVER. By making crock-pot meals, we can prepare an entire month's worth of food in 8 hours. 2. Don't skimp on freezer bags. Seriously, just buy Ziploc bags in bulk at Costco. The no-name bags are shit and when you defrost the food they will leak and make a big mess. It's not worth it. 3. The first time, only do enough food for 1-2 weeks. If you end up disliking any of the meal options, you won't then be stuck eating them for a month. 4. Meal prep makes your life easier. But meal prep day is hell. A hell that is worth it. But I want to prepare you, because if, like me, you work in an office where you sit on your ass all day, 8 hours of cooking is kindof a bitch. Seriously, you will gain new respect for restaurant staff. I recommend having a good playlist (audiobooks/podcasts are good too, but can get annoying when you're trying to focus on reading a recipe) and allowing yourself frequent coffee breaks. Also, when you pick up your ingredients at the grocery store, pick yourself up a rotisserie chicken with a nice baguette and some salad - you will be super grateful to have a quick, tasty meal after cooking all day. So we'll start off with some honesty - this isn't the first time I've made bread, so I don't know how well this fits into the whole "trying new things" deal. But, it's my blog and I get to do what I want. Despite it being April, it's still cold as shit up here, so I've been enjoying doing some baking to, you know, cozy up the home and what-not. I thought I would try out this recipe today cause it's a nice easy one. Here's what you need: Easy AF Bread: Ingredients: 6.5 cups flour 3 cups water 1.5 tbsp salt 1 tbsp yeast Directions: Add all ingredients to bowl and stir. Cover and let sit for 2 hours Sprinkle flour on top of dough. Cut out ⅓ of dough and place on floured surface. Form loaf into ball gently, tucking under itself. Let rise 40 min. Cut lines in top of loaf. This shit is artisanal, yo. Bake at 450. If you have it, put it on a baking stone. I put it on a baking sheet dusted with flour. I like my shit simple, ok? Put a baking pan with water in the oven to help crisp the crust. Mmmm...crispeh. Bake for 35 minutes. Impress your friends - are they artisanal? I didn't think so. Post Script: I was actually really impressed with how this turned out. The loaf was delicious, and we ate almost the entire thing in the span of about 4 hours. For next time, I would probably: 1. Mix the dry ingredients together first before adding the water. I wasn't confident they were well enough mixed. 2. Add 3.5-4 cups water. I ended up having to add about a cup more after rising, because it was super dry, and I could tell it was going to affect the texture. Note that I live in a super dry climate, so this probably isn't an issue with the recipe. Seriously, you know how a dried grape is called a raisin? Whatever the term is for dried-out human, that's what I am right now. |
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