It's not all just saving and investing over here at Consumer of None. We understand the importance of good times, but entertainment can sometimes drive a wedge between the frugal and their friends. You're content to take part in free activities like hiking and board games, while they want to hit up the latest restaurant. What to do?
Although you may have to accept a dinner invitation once in awhile, I've found that non-frugal people often suggest society's default activities - i.e. dinner and a movie - because that's what they think you should do, not because it's the only way they'll have fun. If you host frugal activities a few times, you may find your non-frugal friends suddenly start suggesting hiking and at-home gatherings instead of expensive nights out. I love a good at-home time, but one of the biggest hurdles for me was lack of confidence in my cooking skills. Practice has helped that a lot, but I also recommend mastering a few simple but impressive dishes that you can easily throw together for guests. Note that hosting costs money, too, and often more than you would think. However, I always look at it as an opportunity to treat my friends at a much lower cost than going out. I find that you can feed and provide drinks for up to four people for about the cost of one plate at a restaurant without drinks. If you're feeling really tight, you can always do more of a potluck-style meal instead. Here are my favourite easy entertaining options: 1. Mexican night (appetizer and drinks): Drink: Mexican Bulldog These taste like a professional bartender made them but are really easy. In a blender (I just use the Magic Bullet), combine 1 can frozen limeaid, 6 shots tequila, 2 shots triple sec and ice. Divide between four glasses. Top up each glass with Corona. It should be about half a Corona/glass. If you want to be really fancy, serve these in margarita glasses. Appetizer: Nachos Pour tortilla chips on a plate or baking sheet. Put shredded cheddar cheese on top (I buy the pre-shredded texmex mix from Costco. I've compared prices and it costs the same to buy shredded as to buy a block). Bake until cheese is melted. I actually put these in the toaster oven, which is much easier and faster. Serve with salsa and sour cream, and avocado if you have it! 2. Pizza night I'm always confused by the stereotype of poor college students ordering pizza. Delivery pizza is actually really expensive. As such, I've made a lot of homemade pizza in my day. The easiest version is just to use pita or naan as a base (perfect for a kids party). However, if you're looking for something a little more sophisticated, this is my go-to recipe. A couple notes: - I use quick-rise yeast and it seems to work fine. I let it rise for the same amount of time. - I skip the whole wheat flour (it's pizza, it's not going to be healthy either way). I live in a really dry climate, so I like to mix in 4 cups, then add approx. one additional cup while kneading. - Knead for a full 8 minutes, minimum. For the first 6 minutes it will feel like you're just making it worse and then, poof, it will start to stick together and be beautiful. - For toppings, I use Costco's pre-shredded mozzarella. If it has frozen into a giant clump, throw the clump onto a plate and microwave for 10-15 seconds. - Costo also sells a pack of pre-sliced fancy Italian meats which we usually buy instead of pepperoni. If you want regular pepperoni, you can get it at most grocery stores, just ask at the deli. - This recipe makes three pizzas. I normally make one (I bake it party-style on a cookie sheet) and then freeze the rest. To defrost, either set out on the counter for a few hours, or leave in the fridge for approx. 24 hours. - The recipe says 16 servings. We usually eat half a pizza each, which is 6! Just a heads up for the big eaters out there. 3. Fancy Dinner: Main: Instant Pot Ribs Yes, ribs are expensive, but they're a nice treat to make for guests. This whole meal probably costs around $30 to prepare, which is what you would pay (before tip) for one servering of ribs at a restaurant, except this will feed 4 people. Pricier than an everyday meal, but still reasonable. I use this recipe but: - I cook the ribs for 45 minutes in the instant pot. I found 25 was not enough to fully cook them. - Be very generous with the bbq sauce. That's what makes ribs, ribs! - My oven has a high-medium-low broil setting. I put it on high and watch them like a hawk. They only take about 2-3 minutes to broil. - I don't have a bbq, but I bet these would be even better grilled. Side 1: Baked Potatoes I love these for a dinner party because they're delicious but mostly hands-off, and can be prepped well before guests arrive. I use Alton Brown's recipe. Side 2: Asparagus You could easily do a salad instead, but I feel like asparagus adds an extra-fancy touch. Option 1: For an easy hands-off recipe, this roasted asparagus just pops in the oven, letting you chat with guests while it cooks. Option 2: Slightly more hands-on, but tastier result: Saute asparagus in butter. When softened (but not limp) add 1-2 cloves garlic and saute for an additional 1-2 minutes. Remove from heat. Add a dash of olive oil and 1 tblsp lemon juice.
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Ok, so you've got down the whole low-cost housing and transportation thing, and you make 99.9% of your food at home. You bought a used car in cash, and when you shop, it's for something you really, truly need. "So, like, that's it, right?" I say as I dust my hands off and get up from the table. "I got this frugality thing down pat."
-BOOM- "What the -" "FREEZE!" Another me appears out of nowhere. She's wearing 1920's pilot's goggles and her hair looks like she just stepped out of a windstorm. A dusty one. Other me runs towards me. "I'm you, from the future! Listen, I know you think you're saving money, but you've missed something key here! It's called...USED" she says, clasping my shoulder and gesturing towards what I assume is an invisible sunset. I have a confession to make. Despite my frugal ways, which have been pretty much a part of my DNA since birth, I have overlooked the used market. Nay, I have frowned upon it from afar, only dipping a toe with the odd kijiji purchase. But I have been mistaken. I have discovered something real. Something good. Something...amazing. Let me introduce you to the wonderful world of consignment stores. You see, it wasn't all my fault. Growing up, I was taught that buying used clothing was gross. And, to be honest, the rare occasion I'd risked a venture into a Goodwill or Value Village had not been impressive enough to convince me otherwise. It felt like a job to buy clothes there, searching through racks upon racks of 30 year old sweaty shirts to find the odd gem, which I was too afraid of bedbugs to try on. Thrift stores can be great, and they work for some people, but for some of us, it's just too much work. Enter the consignment store: the happy medium between thrift stores and the mall. Consignment stores are where people sell their unwanted clothes. This means the selection is smaller but much better than a thrift store, as consignment stores are much picker about what they sell. The beauty of a consignment store is that you get the benefits of thrifting - low cost, knowing that you're recycling clothes rather than paying some evil corporation to make clothes in a sweatshop and ship them across the world for you - without the hassle of going through racks upon racks of crappy clothing. One word of warning: although consignment stores can be magical places, they still take a little more thought than the mall. If you've never been to one before, I recommend spending some time reading google reviews to find the good ones in your area. Spend a lovely, frugal Saturday and visit as many as you can to find the ones that best suit your style. This step is important because: - These stores tend to cater to a specific audience. You may need to visit a few to find the right one for you. - Some consignment stores are more geared towards designer labels. Think $300 Chanel dresses. Still a great deal, but probably not a frugal choice. - Some are just ridiculously overpriced. The closer it is to a trendy area, the more likely this is. Have a decent idea of what you normally think is reasonable to spend on clothes, and plan to spend 1/3 or less. Be wary of t-shirts, which are often overpriced. I've just recently gotten into thrifting, but my favourite store is Plato's Closet. It's supposed to be aimed at teens and young adults, but I'm 29 so it depends on your style. I work in a casual office and I tend to wear XS-S, so these type of clothes work for me. It definitely has its share of graphic tees, but basics like sweaters, button-ups, and jeans are a STEAL. I have a strong sense of what I like, but I've always had a hard time dressing in my own style because the prices at the mall just KILL me. Forty dollars for a t-shirt?! ARE YOU INSANE?! So when I walk in there and see sweaters for ten dollars, I get a little giddy. When you're in school, it feels like you're always moving forward to the next step. Finishing the year, graduating high school, getting in to university and graduating. And then you enter the working world and all of a sudden you're just kindof...floating. It can feel like there isn't any real endpoint. Just work, sleep, pay your bills, and go to Mexico once a year if you're lucky.
So to fill this lack of purpose, we start to find new goals to fill our life. Buy a house, get a dog, have a baby. And it's not just you. Once you pass twenty five, it seems like everyone is constantly asking: "When are you going to buy a house?" "Are you going to have kids?" "Are you going to get a dog?" There's nothing wrong with houses, dogs, or kids, but all this pressure can push us into jumping into responsibilities we're not ready for. When you're just starting out on your own or just freshly married, it might take you longer than you realize to learn to balance cooking, cleaning, working full-time, making sure you're getting enough sleep, and navigating living with a significant other. If you're in that boat, I highly recommend waiting a few years to take on the additional responsibilities of home ownership, pet ownership and parenthood. Not only will this give you time to get your shit together, it will also allow you to build up a strong financial base before adding on these additional costs. Imagine a pretty typical couple. Sara and Edward have recently graduated and moved across the country to a more economically active area for their first full-time jobs. They are now choosing where they're going to live and what responsibilities to take on. Let's do a choose-your-own-adventure. Scenario 1: Sara and Edward get approved for a mortgage the day they finish three months at their jobs. They make about 90,000 and are approved for 450,000 mortgage. They have 5% down-payment. They purchase a home for 449,900 that is a half hour drive from both of their jobs (in ideal traffic). To facilitate their commute, they each get a car loan and purchase brand-new vehicles. Now that they have a yard in the suburbs, they decide to adopt a dog. A few months in, Sara's boss starts to act like a real dick, but Sara has to grin and bear it, because how else would they pay the mortgage? Edward hates his commute, which due to traffic is almost an hour every day, even longer in the winter. They both feel guilty because the dog sits at home alone all day, and they're too tired to walk him when they get home from work. After a long commute, who feels like cooking? They start ordering in and within eight months have both put on twenty pounds. They start planning on getting pregnant. Scenario 2: Sara and Edward start to get house fever. But, after going to a few open houses and crunching the numbers, they realize they're better off renting for now. Their jobs are on opposite sides of the city, so they move close enough to Sara's job that she can walk to work, and Edward buys a used car for 9000 in cash to commute to his job. Within six months, he starts looking for work closer to where they live. Although they want a dog, they decide to wait a few years until they're ready for a house. In the mean-time, they take some fun road-trips and enjoy camping with friends. They save one salary and within a few months have saved quite a bit of cash. Sara's boss starts acting like a dick, and she starts getting depressed. Edward knows they've saved up enough to get them through more than a year, so he tells her to quit and look for another job. Even with Sara not working for awhile, they manage to keep saving and taking the odd vacation. -------------------------------------------------- Which scenario would you choose? There's no reason why our couple from Scenario 2 can't get a house and a dog eventually. But by waiting a few years, they are much more financially and emotionally prepared for the responsibility. In the meantime, they can navigate the ups and downs of adulthood without freaking out over every unexpected financial issue or bad boss, and have the freedom to still hang out with friends and go camping. This is the joy of a low-responsibility life. Responsibilities are like salt - you can always add more, but it's hard to take it away. You might remember from Part I that one of my colleagues was recently laid off. Today, I found out that two more colleagues had been let go.
Now, you're probably thinking - geez Consumer of None, you better get your ass in gear and start applying for jobs. And I've certainly been doing my share of resume polishing and sending out applications. However, the thing that took me most by surprise was that the company isn't actually doing all that bad. They're also creating new positions in other departments, despite removing positions in others. What this made me realize is that the workforce rules have changed, even from five years ago. Companies are lean and fast moving, and just growing is not enough to satisfy them. One month you might be valuable, and the next, not. One of the people who was cut just came back from mat leave with her third baby. On top of that, she was the only spouse with benefits as her husband recently started his own business. You'd think there'd be a second thought to cutting someone in that position who had worked for the company for several years. Nope. Believe it or not, I'm not saying this to freak you out. There's no point in going to work everyday petrified that you'll be fired. There's things you can control - your performance, being a pleasant person to work with - and things you can't - the economy, your boss's/the company's whims; and there's no point worrying about things you can't control. The important thing here is to keep this reality in mind when making financial decisions. Lately, I'd been wondering if I'm too tight with money. Maybe we should move on to a house. Maybe we don't travel enough. Events like these make me realize - are you kidding?! The greatest gift you can give yourself is to establish a life you enjoy that: - keeps expenses and responsibilities low - doesn't require a long commute Once you've done that, you realize that they can't touch you. If you can learn to live simply and enjoy the little things, guess what? Not only do you end up with lots of money in the bank (even on a small salary), but you are also prepared for difficult situations that may come your way. If I got laid off tomorrow, I'd be depressed about it, sure. But I also know that I could go almost 2 years unemployed - and could pay my expenses with a minimum wage job if it came down to it, with few changes to my lifestyle. When we talk about "happiness" what we're usually describing is someone laughing out loud, smiling ear to ear. We think of indulgence - food, drinks, lying on the beach, mani-pedis, orgasms.
I don't actually have a problem with any of these things. We all need to put our hair down sometimes - drink too much with friends, eat lots of good food, relax after a long day. Where I think we get it wrong is in the belief that hedonism, or the pursuit of pleasure, is the only source of happiness. As I write this, I am spending the weekend alone as my husband is away on a trip. The hedonic side of me wants to use this weekend to lay around in my pajamas all day on the internet and finish off with some netflix and wine. I'm not going to pretend like I didn't relax at all - trust me, I've done way more relaxing than necessary. But even on a day like today, I insist on leaving the house, getting some exercise, and getting a few things done. Why? Not because I'm a crazy person (I mean maybe...) but because I know that when I go to bed at the end of a day of doing nothing, I'll be worried about my to-do list and not able to sleep from not having moved all day. This is where the second kind of happiness comes in to play - the happiness you get from accomplishing something. Now, I'm not trying to convince anyone to be a workaholic or say that going to your job should fill you with joy (seriously, puke). But I feel so much better after a day when I've exercised and gotten a few things done. Last weekend we went to the beach and saw motorboats that probably cost thousands of dollars to own and operate. We both came to the conclusion that it would actually be way more fun to own a couple kayaks. A motorboat is basically a floating couch with a motor. Sure, you can have a cool party on it, but most of the time it's just gonna be you, and you can sit around in the sun for free. In contrast, taking out a kayak would would wear you out a bit before you lay down on the beach, feeling accomplished about how far you paddled, flush with health and vitality. As you sip a cool beer, you'll know you earned it. There's nothing wrong with hedonism, and I'm not telling you to give up your guilty pleasures. If I were to ride in a motorboat tomorrow, I bet I'd have a blast. But I owned one, the charm would wear off and I'd start to envy my neighbour's yacht. The trick to hedonism is to keep it few and far between and to rely on accomplishment for your daily happiness. I recently received a invitation to an event honouring an acquaintance I know through a mutual friend. The event includes brunch at an expensive restaurant, go-karting, and paintball. The bill, our host estimated, would be about $300/person.
As someone actively saving for early retirement, the idea of spending three hundred of my precious freedom dollars on an afternoon is hard to swallow. But before you call me cheap, let me explain, because this isn't about the cost, it's about the fun value per dollar. Here's why: 1. Brunch, paintball, and go-karting: I actually don't have a problem with any of these activities. Separately. But what I've found is that, as much as I enjoy going out, the best part is going home. Brunch sounds great! Brunch followed by a bunch of activities? I just want to go home. A day like this doesn't sound fun, it sounds exhausting. And now I'm going to have to waste my money on it, to boot! 2. I could do so much better for that amount of money. Y'know what sounds way more fun? How about we all get together for a bbq. Forget hamburgers, we could get some nice steak, corn on the cob, caesar salad, and drinks for all for less than three hundred dollars TOTAL. 3. I get that not everyone is as introverted as me. Sure, you want to go out and do stuff, why not? Ok, how about we just go to a meal and paintball. You're stretchin' me here, but for goodness sake, who needs three activities in one day? Do you people run on some alternate energy source I don't know about? 4. This is for an acquaintance. I don't really know this person, and from the few times we have met, they haven't really made much of an effort. If we were honouring someone I truly care about, I would happily shell out the cash and more - as I am already doing for a close relative this July (it's wedding season, folks). The reason I'm so irritated about this is that I'm going to receive a lot of backlash for not going. "But we'll only have 2 people if you don't go!" "C'mon, you seriously can't make time?!" Of course I could, if I cared about this person. Every time I hear people complaining about how millennials will never be able to retire, I think about events like this. Yes, market conditions have gotten much worse than when baby boomers were working, and it now takes two incomes. But another part of the equation is the expectation that we now celebrate every event as if the person was royalty - at the expense of the attendees, of course. So, to make this short, here's a friendly PSA: Don't try and guilt people into expensive events for people they barely know. You've now put me in the difficult situation of having to tell you "Thanks, but no thanks." Last winter, we started house hunting. Our financial situation had improved and we thought, it's time! We're real adults, we deserve grass and a basement with a dusty treadmill, dammit!
We worked everything out to the last dollar. We would keep the condo and rent it out. We'd have two properties before we turned 30! That's how you know you're successful, right? But the closer we got to closing on the deal, the more anxious I got. What if one of us loses their job? What if we have to deal with awful tenants? Is it worth signing up for all those extra years of working? So we bailed. And here we find ourselves, six months later. Last week, I found out that our office receptionist was being laid off after four years. This news hit hard. If such a valued member of the office could be laid off in the blink of an eye - why not me? A modern day memento mori, indeed. Because we didn't buy a house, we know that we can weather almost any financial storm. This removes the burden of financial worry. I think most insurance is a rip-off - but I believe strongly in the insurance of having low-expenses and a strong savings cushion. I've been thinking about getting a sit-stand desk for work. I've put it off up until now, mostly due to the expense, but I've been starting to get leg cramps, which have increased my feelings of guilt about sitting all day.
So I did a bit of online research and found this hand-crank option at Ikea for $250: https://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/S49084965/ That price seemed pretty reasonable compared to the $500 and up I'd seen previously, and it had great reviews. Plus, I actually prefer hand-crank to an electric lift system, as it will last longer and be much easier to fix if it breaks. After discussing whether it was worth the money and determining there were no viable used alternatives on kijiji, we set off to our local Ikea to give 'er a test drive. We looked at different models, tried out the crank system (smooth as butta!) and were satisfied. We decided to sleep on it (not to mention figure out how I was going to get the table from Ikea to my office). As we were browsing the kitchen section on our way out, we passed a family with a shopping cart. While the father and son browsed, I overheard the mother as she picked up a glass jar and toss it in the cart. "This would be nice to put my coffee beans in!" she exclaimed. I nearly froze in shock. Aren't you going to discuss this purchase? Do you already have a jar you could use? Is there room on the counter for this jar or is it just going to create clutter? Is this going to bring you enough happiness to replace the 7% interest/year that $7.99 would have made if you had invested it instead? No, instead they continued walking, father absorbed in his phone, son looking at some fake plants. This was when I discovered I am not normal. At work this week, I was talking with a colleague about what time we get to the office in the morning. He said, "Oh, between 8-9, really depends on traffic." When I asked him where he was coming from, he explained he lived in the South end of the city (code for expensive suburbs). This is about 18 km from our office. He then proceeded to complain how "in a city like this, it's ridiculous that it should take an hour to commute!"
Umm...actually, it's not. You and everyone else want to live in the "safe", new suburbs. And you and everyone else want to commute from the suburbs into downtown. Do you see a problem here? No matter how many new roads and bridges the city builds, the suburbs will keep growing and more cars will be on the road, in your way, cutting you off. Fun, right? Traffic is not a surprise. The rules of commuting are: - Traffic is bad and will always get worse - Construction will happen every summer, always on the route you need to take to get to work - Winter will happen every year, and will include big snowstorms that clog up the roads and cause lots of accidents Don't plan your commute for best case scenario - plan for the worst. If there's a snowstorm AND construction, will I still be able to get to work? What if my car breaks down? Even if you think environmentalism and biking are for crazy lefties, it doesn't matter. This is about designing your life around the things you can't control. I can't control traffic, weather, or road work, so rather than bitch about them, I work around them. Obviously, it's not always possible to have a car-free commute. But it is possible to improve your commute through conscious choices. For most couples, even if one person has a job that requires car commuting (they may drive for work or work in an industrial area, for example), there are very few scenarios where both partners should have to drive. At a minimum, you should be able to live in a location where at least one partner can walk/bike/transit to work and avoid the traffic trap. You may have heard of the 80/20 rule, or the Pareto principle. It generally says that 20% of the effort towards any given project will result in 80% of the results.*
When it comes to buying things, I like to use my own 80/20 rule: 20% of the stuff you own is used 80% of the time. Buy and purge accordingly. There is obviously has a bit of a minimalist ethos to this. If you're rarely using it, it's probably just taking up space and should be removed. But it's also great when considering new purchases - especially those involving housing and vehicles. For example, we live in a 600 square foot apartment. There isn't a whole lot of room to spare here, and we'd like to upgrade at some point. However, I've noticed there's a lot of pressure to upgrade right now and the 80/20 rule helps keep things in perspective. 80% of the time, I'm totally satisfied with the amount of space I have. And for now, that's good enough. Also, for the 20% of the time when the space feels too small, such as for entertaining, the cost of outsourcing that endeavour (e.g. taking friends out for dinner) is very small compared to paying a mortgage on a bigger place. Another great example is cars and recreational vehicles. Where we live, even the summer nights have a cold edge that can make camping comfortably challenging. Because of this, I think RV'ing would be a great way to explore (not to mention having a kitchen while camping! I hate doing dishes in a plastic bucket). But here's the thing - I would probably only use an RV 2-3 weeks a year at most. 80% (or more like 95%) of the time, I'm perfectly happy without an RV. So paying $40,000 for a used camper, plus storage fees, plus depreciation on the asset, doesn't really add up. A much better tactic would be to shell out the three grand to rent one every couple years. The point is, before you buy something (or store something long-term in your house), determine whether this will benefit you 80% of the time, or 20% of the time. If it's 20% or less, it's probably cheaper and easier to rent, borrow, or outsource the solution. That doesn't always mean that will be the solution you want long term (I want a garage to store a winter bike!), but it can put things in to perspective. * This is particularly interesting when applied to learning a language. Adherents take the approach that learning 20% of the words of a language (the most often used ones) will make you 80% fluent. For more on this, see Tim Ferris on Language. |
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